Into the Mess: What It Looks Like When a Man Steps In (Part 2 of 2)
Entering chaos isn't about fixing — it's about understanding. When a man leads with empathy and sacrificial love, he fosters an environment where relationships thrive.
"Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox." — Proverbs 14:4 (ESV)
Yesterday, we discussed what it means that men are designed by God to enter chaos — to bring order, beauty, and life into the mess. Today, let's look at what that actually looks like in practice.
Jeff and Susan have been happily married for ten years, but one day, a seemingly innocent remark from Jeff irritates Susan, sparking a heated argument. Years of pent-up frustration and pain come to the surface. As tempers flare, Jeff says something he instantly regrets, causing Susan to storm off feeling even more hurt and angry.
Typically, Jeff would give Susan space to calm down, hoping the busyness of life would distract her from her anger and hurt. This had become their usual way of dealing with conflict, but it often left issues unresolved. The manger stayed clean — but no fruit was produced.
So, how might Jeff respond differently, more in alignment with God's design for him? How could he enter the chaos to produce order, beauty and life? To create an environment for his marriage to flourish. Let's take a look.
First, Jeff would sense his calling to become the man God designed him to be. He would realize that it's his responsibility to step into this relational chaos for the sake of his wife — to create a nurturing environment where their relationship can grow. Jeff would understand that he needs to enter the chaos.
Second, Jeff would realize that establishing order in their conversation is crucial. His main duty as a husband is to understand his wife's heart. So he would engage her in a conversation where he intentionally seeks to understand her feelings — structuring the discussion so that she feels heard, valued, and understood. Jeff would set aside his own feelings to make sure his wife feels cherished and acknowledged.
Third, his ultimate goal is to restore a heartfelt connection with his wife — one that is deep and rooted in understanding and grace, rather than superficial niceties. This kind of sacrificial love creates the beauty and life we discussed yesterday — a thriving relationship where both feel known, valued, and loved. Jeff would rekindle beauty and life in his marriage.
That is the essence of what it means to be a man as created by God.
Big Idea
Entering chaos isn't about fixing — it's about understanding. When a man leads with empathy and sacrificial love, he fosters an environment where relationships thrive.
Questions to Ponder
How can you encourage your husband to embrace his God-given design more fully? Are there actions on your part that discourage him from engaging with the messiness? If you're unsure, consider discussing this with your husband.
Application
Identify one relationship where you've been keeping the manger clean — avoiding the mess to maintain peace. This week, take a step into it. Lead with understanding. Ask one question you've been afraid to ask. Trust that God's design for you is good, even when it's uncomfortable.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.
Eyes on the Mess: Why a Clean Manger Produces No Fruit (Part 1 of 2)
God designed men to enter the chaos — not to avoid it. A clean manger may look tidy, but it produces nothing. Abundant fruit comes through the willingness to get messy for His glory.
"Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox." — Proverbs 14:4 (ESV)
This verse has been pivotal in my life as a man dedicated to serving and honoring the Lord. Our light for Jesus often shines brightest during tough times. While many may falter under pressure and struggle to act courageously when life gets messy, God-fearing and empowered men rise to the occasion and glorify the Lord through their actions. To me, that's what this verse is all about — living out my design as a man to fulfill His purposes and glorify His name.
So, what do an ox and a clean manger have to do with being a Godly man? To answer that, we first need to understand how the Bible defines a Godly man. Here it is in a nutshell: men are created by God to confront chaos in a way that produces something beautiful — order, beauty, and life.
In Genesis 1–2, God powerfully spoke into the darkness — described as "formlessness" and "void" — of the unformed world. His speaking brought order to the chaos by shaping the unformed world. His speaking filled the emptiness with beauty and life. His speaking brought blessing to people by giving them purpose, provision, and a place to live. And His purpose in creating a place of order, beauty, and life was to cultivate an environment where close relationships could flourish.
When God created man in His image, He invited Adam to name the animals and tend the Garden, as if saying, "Observe what I have created and how I did it — now I want you to be like Me and do the same." In this way, men are uniquely designed to move into the chaos of life, bringing about order, beauty, life, blessings, and nurturing environments where close relationships can flourish.
But entering into chaos is messy — especially in relationships. Many avoid it because it feels overwhelming and frightening. For many men, confronting chaos can trigger deep feelings of inadequacy. However, a clean manger doesn't produce abundant crops. Avoiding chaos results in little fruit. That's what Proverbs 14:4 is saying: a clean manger signifies no fruit because it lacks the strength of the ox to produce it. When a man trusts in the Lord and is empowered by His strength, he can bravely face chaos and transform the mess into something beautiful.
Big Idea
God designed men to enter the chaos — not to avoid it. A clean manger may look tidy, but it produces nothing. Abundant fruit comes through the willingness to get messy for His glory.
Questions to Ponder
Is your "manger" clean or messy — and why do you think that is? Are there areas where you've hesitated to engage because things might get difficult? What's your default escape when chaos arises, and what reasoning do you use to justify avoiding it?
Application
Ask the Lord to reveal one area of chaos in your life you've been avoiding. It could be a tough conversation, an unresolved conflict, or a responsibility you've been sidestepping. This week, take one step toward facing it — not in your own strength, but in His. Tomorrow, we'll examine what this looks like in a real-life situation.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.
Hide Yourself: The Courage to Walk Away from What Harms You
Not all danger appears as temptation. Sometimes it takes the form of a relationship. The prudent recognize it and walk away, or hide from it, as the verse states.
"The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." – Proverbs 22:3 (ESV)
For years, I read this verse and associated "danger" with temptation — the kind that leads to sin. And that's a valid reading. But recently, through some unexpected circumstances, I've come to see this verse from a different angle. What if "danger" also includes any form of evil or wickedness that causes harm to you — specifically emotional harm?
In other words, my original interpretation was: "When you see danger — the temptation to sin — run from it."
But this additional layer suggests something equally important: "When you're in an abusive or toxic situation, run from that too."
How often do we keep subjecting ourselves to harmful relationships, painful patterns, or environments that slowly break us down — simply because we feel obligated to stay?
Do you have toxic relationships that harm you? It might seem like the "Christian" thing to do is to hold on, stay close, and try to help. But this verse encourages us to examine our motivations and, most importantly, seek God's wisdom. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do — for yourself and for the other person — is to step away. Not out of bitterness, but out of obedience to a God who values your well-being.
That doesn't mean you should cut people off carelessly. If someone apologizes and sincerely seeks forgiveness, prayerfully consider re-engaging. But if the pattern is truly toxic — if it consistently tears you down instead of building you up — wisdom says to protect the heart God gave you.
The prudent sees danger and takes cover. The simple keep walking straight into it.
Big Idea
Not all danger appears as temptation. Sometimes it takes the form of a relationship. The prudent recognize it and walk away, or hide from it, as the verse states.
Questions to Ponder
Are there relationships in your life that consistently leave you feeling drained, anxious, or diminished? Have you been remaining in a harmful situation out of guilt rather than genuine calling? What's the difference between a difficult relationship worth fighting for and a toxic one worth stepping away from? Have you asked the Lord for wisdom about a specific relationship that's been weighing on you?
Application
During your quiet time with the Lord this week, ask Him to reveal any harmful or toxic relationships that should be limited or ended. Pray for the courage to handle these relationships appropriately — and for the wisdom to recognize when love means staying and when it means walking away.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.
Walk Like Him: Live a Life That Reflects His Character
Walking in a manner worthy of the Lord means living a life that reflects His conduct and character, honors Him, and attracts others to Him.
"So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." – Colossians 1:10 (ESV)
Verse 10 gives us a phrase worth pondering: "walk in a manner worthy of the Lord." But what does that really look like? Paul doesn't leave us guessing. In verses 10 through 12, he describes what a worthy walk produces — a life that is completely pleasing to God, fully fruitful in every good work (not just good words), growing in the knowledge of God, relying on His strength instead of our own, practicing endurance and patience with joy, and giving thanks in everything.
That's not a checklist — it's a portrait of a life being shaped by the Lord from the inside out.
But there's more to this word "walk" than meets the eye. Throughout Scripture, it's used to describe our daily journey as believers — and it influences every aspect of how we live. Walking in the newness of life (Romans 6:4). Walking without condemnation (Romans 8:1). Walking by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). Walking in light, not darkness (1 John 1:6). Walking by the Spirit (Galatians 5:16). Walking in love, modeled after Christ's sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:2).
Each of these illustrates a different aspect of what it means to follow Christ — and together, they create a life that reflects His conduct and character.
The question isn't whether we're walking. We all are. The real question is: where is your walk leading you — and does it resemble Him?
Big Idea
Walking in a manner worthy of the Lord means living a life that reflects His conduct and character, honors Him, and attracts others to Him.
Questions to Ponder
How would you honestly describe your daily walk with the Lord right now? Does your walk reflect His conduct and character — or mostly your own? Why is that? Is there an area where your walk has drifted from what honors Him? Has God placed something specific on your heart that you need to explore further?
Application
Choose one of the "walks" from Scripture that resonated with you — whether it's walking by faith, walking in love, or walking in the light. Over the next few days, intentionally focus on that area. Each morning, ask the Lord to help you live it out in a specific situation that day. Pay close attention to where He guides you.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.
Getting Rich: Choosing Character Over Cash
God values a good reputation more than great wealth. True riches are built through humility and a reverent fear of the Lord.
"Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold." – Proverbs 22:1 (NLT)
"True humility and fear of the Lord lead to riches, honor, and long life." – Proverbs 22:4 (NLT)
These verses reveal two important truths about riches and wealth. First, they stress that our reputation is more valuable than any amount of money. A good reputation reflects good character and righteous living. As Matthew Henry notes, great riches bring great cares, expose a man to danger, and add no real value to a person.
Second, achieving wealth, honor, and a long life depends on cultivating humility and a reverent fear of the Lord. Embracing humility and honoring the Lord paves the way for a righteous life, which ultimately builds good character. As Charles Stanley wisely states, the truly humble recognize two things: that they are not God and that He should be respected for who He is.
So what does it mean to "get rich" in God's economy? It means investing in the things that can't corrode — your integrity, your word, your name. The world measures wealth in bank accounts and portfolios. God measures it in character and faithfulness. Unlike financial wealth, a good reputation can't be inherited or bought. It's built one decision at a time, day after day, through humility and a healthy fear of the Lord.
Big Idea
God values a good reputation more than great wealth. True riches are built through humility and a reverent fear of the Lord.
Questions to Ponder
How would those closest to you describe your character? Why do you think they would see it that way? Is the Lord pointing out a specific area where you need to work on your character? Do you have a blind spot that's quietly undermining your integrity? Are you prioritizing material wealth over who you're becoming? Have you ever compromised your character for personal gain — and is there a situation like that in front of you today?
Application
Ask the Lord to reveal one area of your character that needs improvement. Over the next few days, be intentional about focusing on that area — whether it's honesty, humility, patience, or integrity. Watch for moments when you're tempted to take the easy way out instead of doing what is right. And most importantly, when these moments occur, ask the Lord to reveal what is going on in your heart that's causing the temptation. Name it and surrender it to Him.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.