Obscene Talk: What Your Words Reveal
"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth." — Colossians 3:8 (ESV)
Obscene talk? What's so bad about an occasional curse word? Is that what Paul's talking about? Never cursing?
In scripture, obscene talk isn't limited to profanity — it includes language that's abusive, shameful, degrading, or disgraceful.
The Bible regularly discusses the effects our words can have, both positive and negative, and how the words we speak reflect the condition of our hearts. That last point is essential — words reflect the condition of our hearts.
"As in water face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man." — Proverbs 27:19 (ESV)
"But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person." — Matthew 15:18 (ESV)
Obscene talk is less about the words we speak than about the heart condition from which they flow. For the devoted Christian, obscene talk should be the exception, not the norm — and when it happens, it should serve as a warning that something deeper is brewing. When it does, pause and ask the Lord to search your heart for that deeper issue.
In my journey, I have found that when I speak obscenely, it is usually the result of a blocked goal aimed at self rather than at God. For instance, a goal may be to have peace, and when that peace is disrupted by life, my temper can grow short, and I start complaining with words that are less than Godly. The goal — peace — may be a good one, but when it becomes an idol and, when unmet, leads to ungodliness, it can become a bad thing.
See if you can relate to this example. Say you've worked a long day full of demands, disappointments, and disarray, and you return home with one goal — peace. But your wife has had an equally difficult day, the kids need to be fed, the laundry's piling up, the toilet's clogged, and the fridge is on the fritz. So you start tackling issues one by one, your frustration mounting, your temper rising — until the trash bag rips and gross trash spills all over the floor. Then it happens — @#$%^&! Obscene language erupts from your frustrated mouth!
This kind of experience is part of life. But our response shouldn't be to let frustration build until it explodes. When something is spiraling, the first step is to notice it — to name the blocked goal. The second step is to turn to the Lord with that frustration and ask for His help in becoming the man or woman He desires us to be, despite the situation.
"Lord, I am spent, and all I want to do is rest. I NEED REST! But I know you call me to be a man who leads my house, even when I am exhausted and have nothing left to give. I know that when I am this way, I am prone to a short temper and obscene talk. Lord, calm my heart, give me patience and energy to step into this chaos in a way that creates something good, and then give me the rest I need. Be with me, Lord, and help me love my family well despite my exhaustion."
Your mouth is a mirror — when the reflection turns ugly, the problem isn't the glass — it's the heart.
Big Idea
Obscene talk is less about the words themselves and more about the heart condition behind them. When frustration, exhaustion, or a blocked goal spills out of your mouth, it's a signal — not just to clean up your language but also to bring the deeper struggle to the Lord.
Questions to Ponder
How well do you control your tongue and resist obscene talk? When you do succumb to obscene talk, can you identify the blocked goal behind it? What would it look like to break that pattern and invite the Lord into your struggle in real time? What other forms of obscene talk are there besides curse words?
Application
This week, pay attention to the moments when your words turn sharp, impatient, or impure. When that happens — and it will — don't just apologize and move on. Pause and ask yourself: What goal just got blocked? What am I really frustrated about? Then do what you did with the prayer in today's devotional — take that specific frustration to the Lord and ask Him to meet you there. The goal isn't a perfect tongue. The goal is a heart that turns to God before the tongue takes over.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.