Don't Cherry-Pick: The Hidden Danger of Seeking Advice You Already Agree With
"Where there is no guidance, a people fall, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." — Proverbs 11:14 (ESV)
I find the stark contrast in this verse fascinating — the jump from "no guidance" all the way to "an abundance of counselors." Why didn't the author simply say "with counsel" or "with a counselor"? Why specifically an abundance?
I believe the answer hits close to home. It's human nature to cherry-pick wisdom — to find the one voice that tells us what we already want to hear and use it as cover for doing things "our way." A single counselor is easy to manipulate, but an abundance of them is not.
When you bring a decision before a team of wise voices — people who know you, love the Lord, and aren't afraid to push back — something powerful happens. The cherry-picking falls apart. The consensus that forms from godly counselors usually confirms what God is already trying to reveal to you, and it brings a peace that no echo chamber can produce.
The catch is this: it only works if we truly listen. Too many of us gather counselors the way we assemble evidence in a courtroom — searching for the testimony that backs up the verdict we've already reached. That's not wisdom. That's self-deception dressed in religious clothing.
True wisdom is open to hearing "no." It invites perspectives that challenge our preferences. True wisdom recognizes that the Lord often speaks His clearest truth through those who love us enough to risk the conversation.
So ask yourself honestly: when I seek counsel, am I searching for guidance — or am I seeking permission?
Big Idea
When seeking advice, surround yourself with wise people committed to walking with the Lord — people who have the courage to speak hard truths into your life.
Questions to Ponder
Do you have a trusted team of counselors who have permission to speak into your life? Do you regularly seek advice from others, or do you tend to make decisions on your own? How do you respond when someone speaks a hard truth into your life — do you receive it, or dismiss it? Are you the kind of person who welcomes constructive criticism, or do you find yourself shutting down when advice makes you uncomfortable? If you resist constructive criticism, why do you think that is?
Application
This week, ask the Lord to search your heart as you reflect on the questions above. Then take it a step further — reach out to a trusted friend and honestly ask how they would answer those questions about you. God often uses others to speak truth in love into our lives. A wise person recognizes this, seeks it out, and learns to accept it without flinching. Strive to be that person.
Before the Lord — a daily devotional by Blake S. Crawford. Read more and subscribe free at blakescrawford.com/before-the-lord.