A Godly Man: Strength That Blesses
"Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." — 1 Corinthians 16:13–14 (ESV)
One of my all-time favorite books is Larry Crabb's The Silence of Adam (later republished as Becoming a Man of Courage). I reread part of it this morning, and it reoriented me to what it truly means to be a godly man. Crabb's portrait isn't the loud, dominant caricature our culture sells. It's quieter, stronger, and far more compelling — and worth memorizing. In my own words, here are the five marks he outlines.
Strong, not powerless. A Godly man knows he is strong, not powerless. Strong men take the initiative, even when unsure of what to do. Their calling to reflect God in their relationships compels them more than their hope for power or fear of weakness29.
Active, not aggressive. A Godly man is not an aggressive man; he is an active man who offers quality relationships to others, more committed to developing strength that others can enjoy than to achieving a sense of power and control for himself.
At peace. A Godly man is less angry and less easily provoked. Some call it peace. A Godly man's pain doesn't interfere with his ability to feel others' plight, even when their troubles are less severe than his own. He has the courage to face his experiences honestly and, therefore, feels the sadness of living in a fallen world and the loneliness of living in an imperfect community. Yet his sadness and loneliness produce only righteous anger, the kind that stirs compassion for people while remaining offended by sin.
Always room to move. A Godly man always finds room to move, no matter what happens in life. There is always something to be, even when there is nothing to do. When life seems to be going against them, Godly men refuse to lash out in vengeance or retreat into relief. Instead, they are drawn to the opportunity to do something good, to reflect the always hopeful movement of God. They move through trials with a presence others notice more than they do.
Free and purposeful. A Godly man is enticed by the joys of freedom, by the unhindered chance to follow the call of manhood. He is a purposeful man who knows what he's about and what he can contribute to the purpose for which he lives.
Big Idea: A godly man's strength isn't power to dominate — it's the God-shaped strength to take initiative, remain tender, and keep moving toward good, so that the people around him are blessed rather than bruised.
Questions to Ponder — Men. Every day, you’re moving either toward godly manhood or away from it. So watch the trend. Think of a recent moment when you moved toward it — what did it feel like, and what did it produce? Now think of a moment when you moved away — ask the same questions. Can you see the conditions that pull you in each direction? If you were to rate the five marks above as excellent, good, average, or poor, how would you rate yourself?
Application — Men. With your journal in hand, don't just read the five marks — hunt for them in your ordinary day. Notice when you feel weak and need strength, and the difference between being active and being aggressive, and between a strength that blesses and one that wounds. Pick the single mark you most need to grow in, watch for a real moment to live it, and write down what happened. Godly manhood is a messy, lifelong battle few men fight well — but those who seek and lean on the Lord taste real victory. And don't go it alone — invite a friend or two to pursue this with you: men you can be honest with about where you're growing and where you're still stuck, who'll ask you the hard questions and let you ask them back.
Questions to Ponder — Women. Ladies, you're your man's helper — and the Lord loves to grow a man through the woman beside him. As you read these five marks, where do you see him growing, and where does he still seem stuck? Hold that gently — not as a scorecard, but as an eye for where he needs encouragement. Then let one honest question turn back on you: is there a quiet voice that whispers, "I need him to be stronger for me to be okay”?
Application — Women. With your journal in hand, take what those questions surfaced and bring it to the Lord. Remember the order of things: it isn't your job to make your man a godly man — that's God's job; yours is to partner with Him. So start with prayer — pray for his walk with the Lord, since that's where his strength comes from. Then, when you see him struggling with one of the five marks, gently point him back to the vision of godly manhood rather than trying to fix him yourself. Pray, observe, point him toward the vision, and encourage. Lastly, name any discontent you're carrying and surrender it, trusting God — not a "fixed" husband — as your security. Then write one specific way you'll encourage him this week, and ask the Lord for the wisdom and love to do it.